How “F-it!” Came to Be…

After working in real estate for 25 years, I was standing at a personal and professional fork in the road.  I had reached many of the professional goals I’d set for myself within the industry.  My businesses were running well, but I had reached a place of wanting and needing to do more in terms of adding value to the world outside of my industry, and to myself. Despite my successes, I found myself feeling oddly frustrated, and I sensed the universe wanting to redirect my path. I’d literally gotten to a place where I said, “F-it!” because what I once loved and had great passion for had lost much of its luster. I also knew that if I was feeling this way with the “one of a kind career” I had, I couldn’t be alone. I was certain others must feel this way too…and not just people in real estate. There had to be lots of people in the work force who fit this and who felt like me. I didn’t just think it. I KNEW it.

Making tough decisions is the hallmark of an effective leader. You see, many leaders struggle with the fear that they will make a mistake when making a decision that will either embarrass them or hurt other people. After experiencing enough signs, I knew in my gut it was time to leave my comfortable and rewarding real estate position.  But how?  I had 1,400 agents counting on me as their leader.

Colin Powell has a rule of thumb about making tough decisions that I feel is helpful when facing such situations. He says that every time you face a tough decision you should have no less than 40% and no more than 70% of the information you need to make the decision. If you make a decision with less than 40% of the information you need, then you are shooting from the hip and you will make too many mistakes. The second part of the decision making rule is what surprises many leaders. They often think that they need more than 70% of the information before they can make a decision. But, I explain to them, if you get more than 70% of the information you need to make the decision then the opportunity has usually passed and someone else has beaten you to the punch. A key element that supports Powell’s rule is the notion that intuition is what separates the great leaders from the average ones. Intuition is what allows us to make tough decisions well, but many of us ignore our gut. We want certainty that we are making the right decision, but that is not possible. In my experience, people who want certainty in their decisions end up working for other people, not leading. So, the next time you have a tough decision to make, either personally or professionally, do what Colin Powell does.  Get enough information to make an informed decision, then trust your gut.

And so, I decided to step away from my role, regardless of how scary and uncomfortable that would be for me or the people I felt responsible for.  I believed that doing so would be the next step towards what I now see as living my truth.  Leaving my role at Keller Williams would allow me the space to ultimately affect more change, do more good and add more value to others by evaluating the best course of action for me to have the biggest impact. In doing so, I re-calibrated my internal compass and realized that “F-it!” doesn’t have to mean throwing your hands up in the air, pushing something away and giving up. It could mean something more…something better.

Whether we know it or not, all of us are seeking alignment in our lives.  There’s something beautiful about the notion of swimming in the same direction as everyone, and everything, else in our world.  Some of us are better at creating alignment than others, but all of us can have it.  It just requires having a vision, living by your standards and making such a life a priority in order to turn it into your reality.  Which really means that it takes passion, planning and courage to have life-improving alignment in your life.  Whether creating alignment for you is natural or learned, one thing is certain; getting out of alignment is a part of life.  However, we don’t have to wait until we go to the emergency room in pain to fix it.  If we have the right tools at our disposal, we recognize when we are GETTING out of alignment, rather than when we are clearly out of it, and we can take steps that will get us back to that place that rewards us with the energy and peace we desire. Getting out of alignment can happen slowly, like how some marriages deteriorate over time if they are not protected and treated as a priority. Likewise, getting out of alignment can happen quickly, such as an unexpected loss of your job or a loved one.  The only way to weather the storms is to strengthen yourself on the inside by getting clear about who and what you want your life’s priorities to be, and then building a strong foundational fortress around them.

That’s what my book is about. “F-it!” is my spin on the “F word.” Instead of the obvious, I give the reader my exclusive formula for living a “F-itless” life by looking at other F words that will help them fix or even create a stronger foundation. Chapters are based on those words, which include Fragmented, Feel, Frustrated, Find, Forgive, Fix, Fail, Focusing, Forgetting, Floating and forking your way to peace, love, happiness and yes, alignment.  “F it!” is a book full of easy to implement tools to help anyone get anything from a minor to a major adjustment, and to start cleaning up the fragments of their life by creating clarity around, and alignment in, the most important areas of their life. Most importantly, “F it!” creates a dynamic new way of living and working to be the very best version of yourself.  I’m certain that the difference between “YOU 1.0” and “YOU 2.0” is this book.  All of us are connected by the energy and effort in which we live our lives. My passion and purpose is to connect people through the “F-itless” lifestyle presented in “F-it!”