All of us have experienced anger towards another person in our lifetime. Anger towards another is one of the most detrimental voluntary transfers of energy and power that exist. If life is “too short” for this and “too short” for that, then life is surely too short to harbor anger towards another person. Sure, you’ve been hurt, and sure, you’ve been wronged. But, harboring those feelings in a way that creates anger towards the person (or persons) who has wronged you only hurts yourself. In the most intentional of circumstances, allowing someone to eat away at you with anger only gives them what they want, as they likely intended to get under your skin all along. In other cases, someone’s lack of awareness that they even hurt or wronged you can be equally frustrating, I know. Either way, you have to find a way to reconcile situations that spark the emotion of anger within you quickly and effectively.

When you get angry you are actually giving your power to that which has angered you. It may not seem like it because anger gives you a burst of an emotional sense of power over something, which can trick you into feeling justified in harboring such negative energy. Unfortunately, that little voice inside of us that tries to justify the smallness within us can allow us to create some misguided and self-destructive behavior patterns. Rather than negatively giving away energy that should be used for more positive and productive purposes, try this…

Try feeling sorry for the person instead of being angry at them. Look for all of the reasons why he or she might have done what they did. Perhaps they lack good judgement or knowledge or emotional intelligence or empathy or maturity or an ability to see the big picture? Maybe their environment or upbringing gave them a warped sense of reality? Maybe they haven’t been as fortunate as you in being able to develop a concern for others’ wants and needs? It could be that they are selfish. Maybe they are surrounded by others who condone or encourage such behavior and they just don’t know any better? Perhaps they are compensating for their own fears and insecurities? Maybe they are angry or unhappy with themselves in some way? Maybe they just haven’t developed the capacity or wisdom or maturity or self-control that you have?

The point is that if you try to look at something differently and ask enough questions, you can neutralize your anger with sorrow, pity or sympathy. Doing so can keep you in control of your emotions and energy, and it can allow you to move forward, positively, without allowing negative distractions to thwart your inner peace and happiness. More importantly, it will allow you to realize that you are “bigger than” the problem, or the problem person, at hand. Life is a constant game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors,” and we have to insure that we are always more powerful on the inside than anyone or anything that we face on the outside.

I’ve always told my children, “No one can make you angry, but you.” Anger is a choice. Therefore, it is something that you choose to choose…or not. Don’t ever give someone that kind of power over you. You’re better than that. The world is filled with angry people who have learned to love the false sense of power that anger gives them. Feel sorry for them. Don’t BE one of them. Life is too short for that.